Recently, I had a very short, but very powerful encounter with a loved one of a good friend, and that experience sparked me to share a little bit more about how I discovered I was a psychic medium.
A lot of times people think of mediums as people that can bring spirits from the other side on demand, but I don’t use my gift or market myself in that way. When I do act as a psychic medium and connect with someone’s loved ones, it is always to deliver a loving and healing message from the other side to serve my client at their highest good.
I discovered that I was a medium when I made contact with my late mom-in-love, whom we lost very suddenly a few years ago. My relationship with her had been complicated in the past because, although she was always a loving and caring force in my life, my relationship with my own mother was not. It was difficult for me to trust my mom-in-love based on her love and patience toward me and I had created massive boundaries and walls around our relationship.
All of the spiritual awakening and personal growth and healing work I had been doing was starting to pay off, and I started seeing how I was stopping love or refusing love for the fear of disappointment and conditional love. At the beginning of 2016, I set the intention to “take down these walls” and love my mom-in-love with open heart and more importantly let HER know how much I loved her. Then only a few weeks later on February 3rd, she had passed away suddenly.
I can’t describe the emotional hole and regret I felt around our relationship. I had built all these stupid walls around our relationship for over ten years, and when I finally decided to lose the walls and love her fully, I was too late. It was too late. We had lost her.
They do say something devastating and heartbreaking like this experience can trigger or speed up deeper spiritual awakening, and that must have been how it happened for me. A few months later I was taking an online class that introduced us to psychic mediumship. During our group exercises on how to open our channel for connection meditatively, my mom-in-love made the connection with me right away. It was as if she had been waiting for me to finally open myself up.
The messages she gave me was so validating and loving...and so specific that I had to believe it was her. I had been wanting a piece of Mom’s jewelry as a momento, but with my sister-in-love in possession of all her jewelry, who was grieving and having a difficult time, I knew it would be a bit tricky to ask. During the “conversation” with mom, she acknowledged my desire and gave me a ring (a vision of a ring) as a gift, something that was silver, carved with butterflies, then said “here is a ring you wanted, now let Amy keep all my jewelry.”
It took me some time for me to “come clean” and come out of the “mediumship closet”. It was a powerful, healing, and loving experience for me to connect with my mom-in-love, and for a while, I just wanted that moment to stay between me and her. The trouble was, I started getting more messages. The second came from a young man named Billy.
I had never met Billy while he was alive. I had only met his mom once briefly and had heard weeks later that she had lost her son. But when his spirit connected with me, it was as clear and direct as he was alive and standing right next to me, talking nonstop wanting me to deliver all his messages to his family.
When Billy came, it was more like he pushed his way in, pulled up a chair in the middle of my thoughts and started talking about what he came to talk about. Billy had this way of just showing up and claiming the space, and a charming way of commanding attention. There have been times when I tried to “explain” why he shouldn’t just show up whenever - (I’m standing in line at Starbucks), (it’s 3 am, dude, WTF?) Or (you know other spirits wait until I put up “open” sign.) It didn’t seem to bother him at all.
Billy is an important spirit to me because he really helped me to push past some of the fears I had around my mediumship gift. Having such a strong connection and presence from Billy and receiving so much validation and gratitude from his loved ones when I had shared his messages really helped me gain my confidence as a psychic medium.
Many people often ask me to connect them with a spirit or loved one as a medium. To me, this doesn’t feel like the best way to move forward and heal from the loss. Actively knocking on that door to connect, or relying too heavily on these messages to help us grieve doesn’t feel right.
I believe it’s important not to seek that connection and validation as our main means of healing - it’s something that can help us, but we need to go through the process of grief and healing on our own in this physical world too. I describe getting messages from the loved ones who have crossed over as an unsolicited love notes or hello notes - we don’t anticipate, seek, or demand these notes when we receive them. When they arrive we accept them with joy and love.
It is an exciting time in the world right now - more and more people are discovering their spiritual gifts and deepening their connection to the divine/spirit/source/god. This energetic shift has allowed more and more people to seek out their own intuition, openness, and curiosity with their potential gifts. My hope is that with the right tools and resources, and mentorship from other people who have experienced similar spiritual awakening, more people can connect with their soul purpose and gifts and serve people and the world at deeper, more magical level. And maybe some of you too will find out a gift of mediumship.
I am available for spiritual mentorship and coaching for those of you who are going through your own spiritual growth. Message me if you’d like to learn more on how I can help you with your journey.
Introduction from Seo
I get asked so many questions from people on how to become more spiritual, grounded, better at manifesting, trust intuition… and my answer is always “start meditating.” And usually the response I get is, “Oh I know, I try, but…”
Usually my response to that is, start at 2-3 minutes a day, because ANYONE can meditate for 2-3 minutes. It’s bullshit when anyone says they don’t have time or it’s too hard when it’s just for 2-3 minutes right? If you are still not doing it, it’s probably because you don’t feel ready or don’t want to, whether you realize it or not (our subconscious minds can be a stubborn bitch!)
Then I thought, hmmm maybe that’s too harsh for some people – I should share someone else's experience and tips from her experience. So I asked my friend Sabrina to share her view on meditation – she came up with so many great practical tips! Enjoy!
Guest post by Sabrina Jugo
Sabrina is a millennial feminist that lives in Richmond, Virginia. She is passionate about social justice issues and plans to pursue a Master's in Social Work in the near future. When she isn't writing, she enjoys reading, lighting candles, drinking tea, and having passionate conversations with friends about how to make the world a better place.
Why People Should Meditate.
For many years now, I have been resistant to the idea of a dedicated meditation practice. Because I live and breathe psychology, which emphasizes mindfulness, I spent a lot of time truly thinking that I was doing “enough” to better myself. Be mindful while I’m watching the dishes? Sure. Be mindful in conversations with friends and loved ones? No problem. The truth is, while the benefits on mindfulness and meditation may overlap, they aren’t quite the same.
Mindfulness may help you feel connected to the world around you, but meditation connects you to truths within yourself. It’s no secret that some of the greatest thinkers in the world have uncovered great meaning deep truths about themselves, and the universe, while meditating. That said, if they can unlock all of these magical powers by dedicating a few minutes a day to it, why can’t we?
Here are the five biggest roadblocks in my meditation journey, and how they can be easily debunked.
1. “I don’t have the time”
When there is something that I know would benefit me greatly, but that greatly overwhelms me, I like to use time as an excuse not to do it. As a college grad who was trapped in a pretty mentally unhealthy college environment for four years, I perfected the art of overbooking myself and neglecting most things that were good for me. Now, as a 24-year old, who juggles a few different jobs, a social life, a desire to stay connected and informed about the goings-on in the world, and future life preparations, it seems like there often aren’t enough hours in the day. Regardless of your age, I know you feel the same way! While this thought process still creeps in from time-to-time, the ultimate truth is, you make time for things that are important to you. If I can make time to play a few hours of volleyball one night a week or re-watch episodes of Gilmore Girls that I’ve seen 15 times, I can find a few minutes during the day to meditate.
Headspace is a great app to get people started, that is not too woo-woo or spiritual in nature.
Insight app is my favorite app - it has so much variety of guided meditations, and it also has a timer with background noise option once you get more self-sufficient in meditation on your own (when you don’t need someone else’s voice to guide your meditation)
2. “I don’t know where to start”
Everywhere we look, we see meditation advertised as something that only our most highly esteemed friends have mastered. The media, in particular, tells us we need to dedicate a room in our house to it, and make it last a few hours. The message is, if you aren’t fully committed to the idea, you shouldn’t participate at all. Furthermore, being a beginner at anything lends itself to some discomfort. This is where my perfectionism creeps in. That little voice inside my head tells me not to bother trying, since the most likely event is that I will fail.
The great news (especially for my fellow perfectionists) is that like anything, you can start small. There are thousands of resources out there for beginners or people looking to get back into meditation if they’ve taken a break or stopped completely.
3. “I have too many thoughts going through my mind”
Because I’ve worked with many individuals who suffer from anxiety, and I’ve experienced my fair share of anxiety at times, I can understand how debilitating it can seem to sit with your own thoughts. For some people, it can seem like the most daunting task of their day. The good news is that meditation can be an amazing tool for managing anxiety in the long run! Over time, the practice can help to calm your body, and allow you to work through your thoughts. Although it may be a challenge at the beginning, you can look at it like a long-term investment toward your overall health and well-being.
4. “It takes a long time to get any benefits, and if I skip a few days (weeks), it’s just like starting over”
The truth is, this one is still a challenge for me. I self-identity as a “project starter” and have difficulty keeping up with my intentions or habits in general. This is where positive self-talk comes in. A huge part of my professional life has been spent telling others to be kind to themselves, and that we should be working toward progress, not perfection. It’s easy to tell others to cut themselves some slack, but when it comes to you, it’s an entirely different story. I think back to when I played tennis in high school. I was a pretty decent player, but when I went to college, I stopped playing. Almost seven years later, I’m starting to play again, and it feels like I’m starting from scratch. It is incredibly frustrating, and I often think to myself, “why can’t I do this? I used to have great strokes and do super well”. Of course it’s not going to naturally come back to me! Instead of placing value on where I was then and where I am now, I could simply acknowledge that I did the thing in general. If I mastered the skill then, I can master it now.
5. “Meditation makes me more anxious than relaxed”
It’s possible that this is true, at first. I believe that the majority of us do not make the effort to sit quietly with ourselves, really ever. Sitting with one’s thoughts, without any distractions, is not sexy, and so no one tells us to do it. I can tell you from experience that after a while, you learn to control anxious thoughts, and even ward them away when they come up. [PSA, I am by no means stating that an anxiety disorder or severe anxiety can be cured through meditation. What I am saying, is that it can be a helpful tool and coping mechanism for those people as well].
Please comment & share what your mediation journey has been like. Both Seo & I would love to hear from you. Join Alpha Female Sisterhood.
I met Myrf through her sister-in-law, Meriel, who is also another kickass girlboss of Ozzy & Squish (my hair goddess). Meriel brought Myrf to one of my early morning fitness classes, and she is such a badass fitness buff, I immediately felt connected with her. When I found out that she owned one of Richmond's best interior designing firms, Decorum, for almost 20-years, I admired her even more.
While I'm surrounded by many like-minded women entrepreneurs, most of us are newbie entrepreneurs, having our businesses for less than 5 years. With Myrf being a successful girlboss for almost 20 years, she is full of insights and tips which helped me whenever I asked her for advice (she's become one of my best clients, friends, and advisers!)
And because I am a generous, share-the-love kinda gal, I asked her to participate in this Kickass Girlboss Blog Series, so you all can learn from her awesomeness, too!
How did you get started with your interior design business?
I actually worked as an interior designer, as part of a traditional company, for several years before deciding to break out on my own. I knew I had a lot to contribute and lots of great ideas but didn’t always have the opportunity to run with my ideas since I wasn’t in charge. Along with a coworker, we decided to break away and start out own business and have been working together ever since.
What is it like having a business partner?
Honestly, it’s great. I’m not sure I would have succeeded without her help and there were so many times we leaned on each other in order to get through (and still do!). We don’t always see eye-to-eye, but we communicate openly right from the beginning. Once we choose one person’s solution, there’s no looking back! We’re both Libras and avoid conflict, so we won’t hold a grudge or fight over that decision. We won’t let anything fester and that keeps our partnership strong.
When did you know you had something good?
Right from the beginning! Or at least, we thought we did. It never crossed our minds that our business could fail, or that it would be hard. In retrospect, we were a little stupid, but I think it was a good thing that we were so naive. If we had known some of the challenges we would face, we might not have gotten started.
Is there anything you could have done to make things easier?
We should’ve bought office space outright, long ago. We started by renting our real estate because finding the start-up funds to purchase a property is so expensive! In the long-run, we’d be money ahead by having an office to fully call our own, but we ended up making it work and didn’t have the stress of saving up that much cash or having to forego other investments along the way.
What is the hardest part for you with running your own business?
I really hate firing people. It’s great that we have enough work that we have a few employees on staff and I love working with most of them. Unfortunately, over the years, not all of them have worked out. Even when it’s obvious things aren’t working out, I don’t like being the person who has to let someone go.
The life of an entrepreneur often means very busy days with long hours. How do you make time for yourself?
I always remember that I need to take care of myself first and foremost. Being stressed or unhealthy will just make things harder. I love working out with my friends in the morning to get things off to a good start before stepping into the hustle of the day. That’s how I met Seo originally, but now our friendship goes way beyond a work-out session.
How do you push through the tough times and keep going despite adversity?
I’m a cancer survivor — and the #1 thing that taught me was to keep things in perspective. There are a lot of days when work can be challenging, but at the end of the day, I always focus on what’s most important to me and make sure that’s the priority. It really puts things in perspective.
Are you still working toward expanding your business? How?
When I have new ideas, I run with them. I created the Dip-a-di-do-da, a decorative dip container for parties and events. When I realized how often I was scooping dips into other bowls to put out for social events, I thought there had to be a better way. I started searching for an easy way to just place your dips into a decorative container and couldn’t find any after extensive searching, so I designed one. I sold out of my initial order of 500 pieces and continue to promote and sell the product.
Do you have advice for other people just starting out?
Remember that you might not find the solution in an obvious way. For my dip containers, I ended up asking around and got a producer because I knew someone who made plastic yacht parts. That probably wouldn’t be the first place I looked, but it worked wonderfully. Don’t be afraid to tell people about your endeavors or ask for help or introductions…you never know when it’ll help you along!
What do you love most about working for yourself?
I love controlling my own schedule. I don’t have kids of my own, but I still love spending time with my extended family and being part of their life and being able to attend special events. I also love that I can take advantage of meeting people out for coffee or carving out time for myself when I need it.
Leaving the rat race was one of the most important things I did in order to bring purpose to my career and my life, but I’m not the only one who’s made a big change like that.
Today I’m talking to Becky, who left her own office job to work for herself and gain freedom in her life.
Tell me a little about what you do and how you got started.
Hi Seo! I’m working right now in two different ways: primarily in freelance writing with a travel marketing spin and part-time as a luxury travel advisor who specializes in using frequent flyer miles to pay for trips. I’ve been doing both of these for over a year after picking up small gigs that snowballed into great opportunities! Today, I’m transitioning more and more to travel writing full-time, which I love…but in general, working for myself is a great fit for me.
What prompted you to leave a traditional career – what caused you to make a change?
I worked in corporate finance from 2007-2014 before deciding to make a change. I left abruptly in order to pursue a lifelong dream of living and studying Spanish in Central America. I loved it, but when I came back, I was unemployed and had a big decision to make: go back to my career path or try something new.
I had always assumed I’d return to finance after my sabbatical, but after experiencing that freedom, the idea of conforming again sounded terrible. I spent a few months figuring out what I wanted to do next until finally admitting to myself that I hated what I was doing and that I should try and make a living in an industry I love (tourism!). It took a lot of thought — and a lot of mental struggles — but making that decision was the first step toward success.
What was the scariest part about breaking out on your own?
Once I started, I was scared of failing because that would mean I had to go back to the corporate world. That thought was worse than letting my family down, going bankrupt, or anything else, so I pushed myself every day to work harder than I thought was possible. I never realized I was so depressed in that position until I broke free. My old job was a significant stress in my life and without those shackles, I finally felt happy.
When I was in the midst of my new career, the scariest part was more about what other people would think of me. Small talk always starts with “what do you do?” or “where do you work?” and I wasn’t sure my non-traditional title or accomplishments would impress anyone. Eventually, I learned to let those thoughts go since I was proud of myself and that should matter more than what other people think.
Where did you get the money to get started?
Thankfully, what I do doesn’t have a lot of overhead. At the time, I was working as a waitress to make ends meet, so I used my tips to print up business cards and set up a website. I started building a portfolio while I re-invested my first earnings to attend a few conferences. Networking is EVERYTHING in my line of business, so spending that money is the smartest thing I could do.
I also did a lot of work on my own instead of outsourcing it and I took advantage of every free training or certification I could find, which helped build my credibility. But I’ll be honest: the first few months were financially rough and it would have been a lot harder to push through if I didn't have someone at home to split the bills with. I had a safety net that not everyone does, and I’m thankful for that.
Did you ever feel like your business would be a failure?
Absolutely. When I first set off on my own, I was targeting the wrong customers. I only made $75 in profit in the first six months (essentially, I was working for free).
At one point, with tears running down my face, I submitted a job application for a job I knew I’d hate because I just needed to make money. Thankfully, while I was waiting for an interview, I took a hard look at things, re-evaluated my target customer, and now I’m doing much, much better.
I still wake up some days during slow periods at work wondering if I’ll have to go back, but I harness that fear into motivation toward working on new business goals. Some have been unsuccessful but others have been great opportunities and that’s what lets me continue with this line of work.
At what point did you know you had something good?
When one writing client came to me and specifically extended an editing position (in addition to the writing I had been doing), I finally realized my work was highly valued. They trusted me enough to oversee other people’s work which reaffirmed I was on the right path. Since then, I’ve stopped editing because it doesn’t bring me the same professional enjoyment, but it was a real “feel-good” moment!
Please share with us the pro/con, rewards/challenges of running your own business in your own words, in your own life.
At first, my goal was to find work I enjoy doing since working is such a big component of my daily schedule. I love juggling clients since every day is something brand new to experience and it’s incredibly satisfying to tackle projects and learn something new all the time. You have no idea what you’re capable of until you push yourself!
One of my favorite rewards has been working remotely. I flex my schedule, work from other cities while traveling, and was able to take care of a family emergency for ~3 weeks without worrying about whether or not I’d get fired. It takes a lot of discipline (and I’ve been known to procrastinate at times), but if you can manage yourself, the flexibility is priceless.
But that said, running your own business is definitely hard. Along with the work I love, there’s a lot of other tasks that come with self-employment: I play marketer, accountant, tech support, and a million other roles, too. They’re not always glamorous and they’re not always fun, but it’s part of the package.
What was the single most important factor that contributed to your success?
I couldn’t have done this, not one bit, without a support network. My friends listened patiently to business ideas and talked through logistics. One family member in particular played cheerleader, no matter what, so I had someone to smile with when things went well and someone to lift me up when things went horribly. Plus my husband was there every step of the way, through my frustrations and my happy dances. I couldn’t have done it alone.
If you could go back in time to when you started, what one lesson would you share to yourself?
Work really hard toward balancing a workload. I have a lot of little clients, which means sometimes I have a lot of projects from different people all rolling in at the same time. Not wanting to say no to a paycheck, there were times where I was working 60-80 hours a week trying to get it all done by deadline and then other times when I had nothing to do (and thus no paychecks). It’s better to try and spread things out, but it’s hard to do when you get started.
Becky is just one example of a woman who chased after her dream of getting a kickasslife…will you be next?
Meet Seo Kelleher, an intuitive coach for life and business, committed to empowering women. "I am passionate about helping women find the courage to transform their lives by embracing their vulnerability and taking the responsibility."