Those of you who know me, know I’m an intuitive coach who helps high performing business women (my “Alpha Female Sisters”, if you will) realize their purpose and go after it in a big way—in part, by balancing their masculine and feminine energy. (To learn more about masculine and female energy, and how to find a balance between the two, check out my blog post: Tapping into your Masculine & Feminine Energies!)
What you might not know is how I got here in the first place.
Back in September, I had the opportunity to talk with the ladies of The Next Tuesday Podcast—Care and Suz, two badass boss ladies themselves, who feature weekly interviews with other lady bosses making their mark on business and the world. We talked about what it means to be an Alpha Female Sister, how I transitioned from the corporate world to the world of intuitive coaching, my spiritual journey, and lots more.
This is my story.
I’m 41-years-old now, but I spent most of my adult life—up until my mid-to-late thirties—living and working in the corporate world. Before that, I was your typical, over-achieving, straight-A student; a rule follower who did everything by the book. After completing my MBA, I entered the world of corporate marketing, where I spent 15 years. The corporate world is all about working hard, striving to out-perform your peers, competing for that next promotion, playing the game to be powerful—but, if you’re a woman, not too powerful. Anyone working in the corporate realm still knows it’s a man’s world, and women just have to know how to play the game, which usually means we do a lot more work—picking up the slack, while still being denied leadership positions. I did all of that. I was making a lot of money, my company loved me, and my coworkers envied me. And I was extremely unhappy.
Being the person I am: direct, opinionated, motivated, I was already feeling like I couldn’t be the leader I wanted to be. And the other women who held the positions I was striving for weren’t empowered, they weren’t in leadership roles, they weren’t happy, they didn’t have good work/life balances, and I thought: I don’t want to be them. There are still so many rules women have to follow, to achieve just slightly less than equal status, and that didn’t feel right to me anymore.
I finally knew that it was time to leave the corporate world when my team—which, up until that point, had been amazing—got a new boss. What had once been a supportive team where women encouraged and supported each other became a team led by a woman in power who didn’t believing in supporting and empowering other women and I knew I couldn’t stay there.
At the time I was already teaching fitness classes in the evenings and on weekends as a way to relive stress. So I left the corporate world and started my fitness company—what became CO2 Fitness. I incorporated CO2 Fitness the same week I left my marketing position, I had my website up the following week, and I was ready to go. People might think I had this passion and inspiration and courage, but really, I had just had it with corporate life. I just had to walk away. And I started making a name for myself though teaching hardcore, badass, high-intensity workouts.
But even CO2 Fitness was really all about that masculine energy and manifesting success. CO2 Fitness was growing steadily, but a lot of my motivations were based on fear: fear of failure, fear of not having enough money. I realized I didn’t always want to be motivated by fear. I wanted to be motivated by something else, even though I didn’t yet know what that was. And then, suddenly, that’s when my spiritual awakening happened.
I started working with a coach—someone who I had initially hired to help me become more successful in my business, so I could make more money. But then this box opened up. My coach began guiding me through all my limiting beliefs, my past traumas, my forgiveness issues. Life coaching really helped me become a better person and develop self-awareness. One thing my life coach really encouraged me to try was meditation—which I thought was bullshit. But he convinced me to give it a shot by telling me that all successful people have a meditation practice. So I begrudgingly started meditating and suddenly things started happening. I heard a voice. I was finding clarity. And when I had the courage to act on that clarity, things really took off.
One day, something told me to “be ready.” I got this message: if somebody gives you $5,000 to do what you need to do, what would you do with it? Are you ready to say yes? What would you create? Following that message, I prepared. And then one day, I was describing this message to a group of clients, when one of them leaned over and asked: “Is that what you need?” Right then, she wrote me a check for $5,000. And I was ready for that, because I had prepared. I took the money and created different programs, I grew my business even more. As things kept happening, I kept growing personally.
Then my mother-in-law passed away very suddenly, which created a shift in my life—I began wondering, what is life, really? Her loss was so unexpected and there were so many regrets for me; things that I didn’t get to do things that I didn’t get to say. Right in the middle of this stage of growth and transformation, her passing made me really look at my life again. When you find yourself having a life-altering experience or trauma during a period of growth, things tend to accelerate even more.
I realized I never wanted to be a fitness pro. But there was still a part of my fitness business that I really enjoyed, so I needed to figure out what that was. I discovered it was empowering women, connecting with women. In fact, lot of what I really enjoyed—that space of empowerment—was happening between the actual fitness classes, or after class, among women: getting lunch, going out for coffee dates. I thought: how can I make a living by going on coffee dates? And I just decided to go after it.
I added life coaching to the fitness business, and the life coaching just grew from there. Eventually, I could afford to transition out of fitness completely and focus entirely on life coaching. I realized most of my clients were business women—for many business women life is business and business is life, and with my background in marketing I started offering business coaching alongside life coaching.
During this process, my psychic gifts opened up: I started seeing visions; I started receiving messages, my intuition opened up. I realized something was happening, so I hired another coach and started doing my own research. I discovered I have intuitive and psychic gits, and began learning how to use them. But even as it was happening I was apprehensive—I was comfortable seeing visions, I was comfortable being an empath, but I didn’t want to explore mediumship. I kind of drew the line at talking to dead people.
Then, after my mother-in-law passed away, I was exposed to mediumship. She came through to me so powerfully, and that’s how I found out I’m a medium. The messages she gave me in that moment—for myself, for my husband, and for his twin sister were so powerful, so healing, and so aligned. But even then I still thought: maybe this’ll just be our little secret.
My biggest fear throughout this journey—something I still struggle with—is that with all my years of working so hard to establish my reputation as a high performing woman, there’s a risk to showing my entire authentic self: that if people discover I’m psychic or that I can communicate with the dead, I’ll lose my credibility. My biggest fear is that all my past hard work could go away, and I could lose everything. But I know this is my own experience, and it’s okay if people can’t connect with it. That’s where the feminine energy comes in: staying grounded, surrendering, knowing that this is who I am, accepting it, and nurturing it. Now I really have that great balance of masculine energy and feminine energy.
I’m not trying to make millions right now. I’m just trying to have this journey. I’m trying to be a catalyst for people to change their lives, so that they can go off and change the world. I believe my purpose is finding other women with passion and purpose who are going to make an impact on this world, and I want to help them do it in their own way.
*Adapted from The Next Tuesday Podcast: "Don't Be A B*tch. Be An ALPHA" with Seo Kelleher / Intuitive Coach; Founder of Alpha Female Sisterhood
Are you a high-performing business woman or entrepreneur who is thinking about creating your own online group course or program, but you’re stuck at the "getting it done" part?
Maybe you have plenty of passion, magic, and valuable skills you’d love to share, but are feeling overwhelmed at the thought of how to get your first online program started or how to sell it.
You might be unsure about differentiating yourself in a saturated market, maintaining your authenticity, and attracting clients whose energy aligns with your own.
Maybe you’re even stuck in a space of lack-mindset or fear: you know you have a great idea for an online program, but you can’t seem to push past your fear of failure. You might be worried you don’t have all the skills you need to launch, and technical terms like lead pages, pre-launch, email campaign, and webinar give you anxiety.
If any of this sounds familiar—but you’re still passionate about your idea, and want to explore online programming as a way to take your business to the next level—then my Program Creation VIP Intensive might be for you.
Here’s what I’m offering: my Program Creation VIP Intensive will give you the opportunity to spend four hours working with me to gain clarity in developing your first online program, develop a detailed and specific outline of what exactly your program will offer, establish your marketing campaign, and make sure you’re ready to launch your program—in just FOUR HOURS.
Basically, four hours with me is the only thing standing between you imaging your dream online program but having nothing to launch, and actually launching your very first program.
Let me break down those four hours even further.
Hour One: Clarifying Your True Passion And Differentiating How Your Authentic Energy Makes Your Program Original
In our first hour together, we’ll answer questions like: What am I really good at? | What feels effortless to me? | What is my true passion? | What message do I want to share with the world? | What impact do I want to make? | Where am I already noticing success in my business? | Why would a client want my program above everyone else’s? | What does my dream program look like?
You’ll come away with: Program Title, Program Goal, Content Outline, Program Length, Delivery Method, Other Basic Components.
Hour Two: Crafting Your Message To Attract The Right Audience
During this hour, we’ll answer questions like: What is my messaging? | What are some of the main keywords of my program? | How am I going to articulate what this program is and who it is for?
You’ll come away with: Consistent Copy-writing To Use Across All Your Launch Efforts, A Key Messaging Strategy.
Hour Three: Creating Your Foundational Structure
Here, we’ll figure out: What you need to build this program. | How you’re going to distribute your sales and marketing materials. | How you’re going to deliver your program. | How you’re going to use email and social media.
You’ll come away with: A Lead Page, A Sales Page, A Webinar Or Video Delivery Platform (if applicable), A Sales Funnel (if applicable), New Or Updated Social Media Platforms, Email Campaign Software.
Hour Four: Marketing And Promotion Strategies
During our last hour, we’ll discover: How you’re going to promote and sell your program. | How you will promote your program through social media. | Are you going to host a giveaway or a time-limited challenge? |Are you going to collaborate with another influencer whose audience connects to yours? | How many e-mails are you going to send? | How many Facebook/Instagram/other posts are you going to create?
You’ll come away with: A Comprehensive Timeline Of Your Promotion Plan, Template E-mail Reminders, Template Early Bird Specials, Template Bonuses, Template Social Media Posts.
Follow Up: Personalized Email Support And Follow Up
For 14 days after we’ve completed our VIP Intensive session I’ll be available to you through e-mail to respond to questions and concerns, as well as offer extra suggestions, tips, tricks, and ideas for keeping you accountable to your launch deadlines, if you need a little extra boost.
To sum it all up: After completing my Program Creation VIP Intensive, you will walk away with a complete program outline, messaging and content to start promoting your program right away, a functioning lead page and sales page to facilitate registration and accept payment, a step-by-step launch plan to market and promote your program, and more. All in just four hours (that’s half a day!) with a $1000 investment.
Sound too good to be true? It’s not! When clients work with me, they take immediate, concrete, and massive actions to get fast results. Together, we’ll ensure that every action step is aligned energetically and strategically to your overall mission and passion, making sure you stay grounded and also keeping you accountable to your own project goals.
In fact, one of my clients just sold-out her online program at her very first launch! Another client created her signature 1:1 package and has since raised her price three times due to an influx of new business. I’ve also launched three successful programs myself: Everyday Intuition, 21 Day Mindset Makeover, and 21 Day Mindset Makeover: Money Edition. By finding the right blend of your own authentic magic, commitment, and playing big, you can enjoy successes like these as well.
If you’re interested in my Program Creation VIP Intensive, the first step is discerning if it’s the right time to plan your program: feel free to request a consultation call, during which I can help you determine if you’re ready to plan and launch a program.
Then, apply for my 4-hour Program Creation VIP Intensive at: Program Creation VIP Intensive
For even more information on creating your own online program, check out the following videos, available to all members of my Alpha Female Sisterhood group:
Product Creation Business Tip - Go Deep Before You Go Wide!
Why Passive Income Is Not The Reason To Create Your Online Program
Four Hours With Me Is The Only Thing Standing Between Nothing And Your First Program Launch
Why So Many Entrepreneurs Get Stuck In Program Creation & How To Get Unstuck—Stop Listening To Other People
Guest post by Sabrina Jugo
Sabrina is a millennial feminist that lives in Richmond, Virginia. She is passionate about social justice issues and plans to pursue a Master's in Social Work in the near future. When she isn't writing, she enjoys reading, lighting candles, drinking tea, and having passionate conversations with friends about how to make the work a better place.
2017 was a difficult year. For me, it’s been a year filled with tears, disappointment, and frustration. More importantly, though, it’s been a year of reflection. Most of my professional work experience has been working with adolescents and adults with eating disorders. As you can imagine, a significant portion of eating disorder patients identify as female, and most of them struggle in some way with body image. The work I’ve done with women with eating disorders has really allowed me to examine the thoughts and beliefs women have about ourselves in an up close and personal way. The biggest lesson that I’ve learned, however, is that all of us struggle with mind and body insecurities, just to varying degrees. Because of factors beyond our control (the patriarchy, the media, Donald Trump), we are universally told that we need to change ourselves, physically or emotionally, to fit an unattainable mold. While I don’t profess to know how to change systemic norms surrounding the expectations of women, I do have some thoughts that I keep in my back pocket that helped me brave the shit storm of 2017.
1. Your words matter.
This has two meanings, really. The first, is that your words are impactful and important. The second, and more important meaning, is that the physical words you use matter. How many times have you caught yourself speaking about another woman in a negative way? Why do we, as women, fall into the trap of breaking each other down, rather than building each other up? The eating disorder community is very intentional with the words we use. Language about shape, size, food, and exercise are not discussed. This is because words have a great effect on our thoughts and behaviors, especially about ourselves. Close friends of mine have commented on how they’ve noticed a change in my language, and how that’s helped them to be intentional about the words they use and the topics they converse about. If we can change the way we speak about other women in particular, we can all work toward communities where we talk more about ideas, and less about people.
2. You have the power to empower.
Whether you’re a leader among your circle or not, you have the power to build others up. Empowering people can be something as simple as providing words of encouragement when someone you know is struggling, or being a support person for a loved one. Empowerment is making someone else feel as if their hopes, abilities, and needs are valued. Over my time working with young women women with eating disorders, I have discovered the true power of helping someone through their most challenging moments. For someone with an eating disorder, that may be getting through a difficult meal, and for some else, it may be grieving the death of a loved one or failed romantic relationship. The experience itself does not matter, the acknowledgement that you could be part of someone else’s journey does!
3. Basque in the glory on an all female work environment.
So this one is a bit odd, but in mental health, it is a likely that a large percentage of your work environment is female. Regardless of your work environment, cherish the women that you work with. They may be your peers, and they may also be your mentors and the women who champion you along your journey. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking “there aren’t any hot guys to stare at”. That’s heteronormative, and honestly, just dumb. You have the opportunity to grow professionally alongside other women, and be empowering influences on one another. Isn’t there a saying that you spend most of your life at work? Take advantage of the relationships you have at your workplace and make them badass lady friendships.
4. Build a support network.
This lesson, while especially true for individuals with eating disorders, is also true for all women. A wonderful mentor and friend of mine once told me that the most successful individuals who recovered from eating disorders had a support network of people who were focused on their recovery. In many ways, we all need a support network in our lives to get us through tough times. Whether your network is your mom, sister, best friend, group of coworkers, friends from bookclub, or lady friends on Facebook, the support networks you create are essential for your health and happiness. Of course, your network doesn’t just have to include women, but having a network of women will help you to feel understood. We all have similar experiences, good and bad, that other women can relate to. There is huge power in feeling like our experiences are understood and accepted.
5. Practice empathy.
This is the lesson that transcends every other thing I’ve learned. Empathy is the process of acknowledging that something within yourself identifies with something within another person. Empathy is what helps us build connections with others. This was the biggest takeaway I found in working with individuals with eating disorders. While I may never experience the level of shame or guilt that they experience related to food or body, practicing empathy helped me to understand those struggles. I firmly believe that so much of the world’s problems could be solved with a dose of empathy. Make it a practice to invoke your empathy when another woman does you wrong. It will help you feel connected with that person, and also help you accomplish all of the steps above.
Whether 2017 was equally a garbage heap for you, or the best year of your life, I hope that you continue to work and advocate for a truly feminist society. Keep sharing your amazing ideas and root for your fellow woman, your words could make all the difference.
In my experience, entrepreneurs can get stuck in program creation and brainstorming mode—and this can be caused by the all-too-common market-centered approach, instead of taking a heart-centered approach. Let me explain what that means. The conventional way most entrepreneurs set up a program or course is to begin with market research and then look at what other entrepreneurs and business people in similar markets are doing, ultimately creating a program that is comparable to what is already out there. Typically, we begin with the external motivations and inspirations, and then move to the internal. We look for guidance outside ourselves and then create a product from there.
While that might be helpful (at least, at some point) my belief is that you cannot start from there. The biggest challenge that occurs from beginning with an external approach and then moving inward is that it can quickly become difficult to authentically explain why your product is original, unique to your own passions, and/or better than the other similar products out there.
Basically, you need to stop listening to other people—at least for right now.
What I want to suggest is going about this another way: developing your program from the inside out.
You have to start with your passion, what you’re interested in, what is in your heart, and how you believe you can best serve your community of clients; and this is the approach we’ll take, when creating this program together.
I always promote creating an online course or program from the inside out, rather than from the outside in. The key is to start from where you are, with what you’re passionate about and what excites you, considering what you feel the market is missing, and discerning what project you feel your energy is fully aligned with. Start with your heart and expand your project from there.
Begin by asking yourself a few of the following questions:
-What excites me?
-What do I love to share?
-What kind of physical response do I get when I think about my program idea: do my eyes sparkle, does my heart race, does my body language change or do I start talking with my hands when I discuss my idea with others?
-What makes me mad—what do I notice people in the marketplace doing that I know I could do better?
-What makes me cry or tear up—when I think about the type of program I want to create, does it move me?
-What is an easy, “no-brainer” skill that I have that others might struggle with? What natural gifts or talents can I share that will help people?
-Am I in a position to invest in myself and this program? Do I have enough business experience already built in order to develop a successful and credible course?
These are the indicators that you’re onto some magic that you’re willing and able to share.
But also: don’t be afraid to be different. Don’t be afraid to take the time to explore your own original idea, even if it’s different from what other entrepreneurs in the mainstream market are doing. Don’t compare your magic to the magic of others, or let yourself envy the magic of others—even those successful business people and entrepreneurs whom you look up to.
Equally important: don’t get stuck in brainstorming and digging deep. Once you’ve gone deep enough, then it’s time to go wide. Some entrepreneurs will find themselves spending a little too much time in the “going deep” stage, always exploring new ideas and possibilities—but don’t let yourself stop there. Once you find your magic, spread it wide! This is another way my Program Creation VIP Intensive can get you unstuck and ready to launch.
Now, HERE IS YOUR CALL TO ACTION!
If you’re interested in my Program Creation VIP Intensive, the first step is discerning if it’s the right time to plan your program: so let’s set up a consultation call to determine if you’re an entrepreneur who is ready to launch a program—if you’re ready, our energies are aligned, and it feels like I’m the right match to help you, let’s get started! If not, I can give you some recommendations on getting to a place where you’re ready to program develop and launch!
To apply for my 4-hour Program Creation VIP Intensive visit: VIP Intensive application
And, for even more information on creating your own online program, check out the following videos, available to all members of my Alpha Female Sisterhood group:
Product Creation Business Tip - Go Deep Before You Go Wide!
Why Passive Income Is Not The Reason To Create Your Online Program
Four Hours With Me Is The Only Thing Standing Between Nothing And Your First Program Launch
Why So Many Entrepreneurs Get Stuck In Program Creation & How To Get Unstuck—Stop Listening To Other People
Forgiveness is definitely NOT my favorite F-word. Those of you who follow me and watch my FB lives know what my favorite F word is. But no other f-word than "forgiveness" used to make me shut down and feel completely knotted inside. Because I didn't feel ready to forgive, I didn't want to forgive, I felt like "they" didn't deserve forgiveness, and because I felt cutting them (people, experiences, actions) completely out of my current life was enough and a "cleaner" way to deal with it all.
When I started my personal development journey years ago, and my coach at the time tiptoed around and eventually pushed me into the reality with "Seo, we cannot get to the result you are looking for without addressing this huge monster in the room, your forgiveness issue from past traumas."
I almost ran out of the meeting when he called it like that - "your forgiveness issue from past traumas." I felt vulnerable and called out about my "brokenness." But because I'm brave and committed to my work, I stayed. I sat with all the knots and stiffness inside my gut, feeling all those emotions and fears, feeling the tears, rage, sadness, defensiveness, and so much more.
What followed were weeks and weeks of more self exploration and work around my "forgiveness issue." I uncovered that my complete rejection to forgiveness came from this big fear of "becoming undone." My story went like this:
If I forgive them, that means they are free to enter my life again.
If they enter my life again, they are free to cause all the same drama, pain, damage in my life.
And then all the work I've done on myself to be okay & function normally, it will be all fucked up.
I will pretty much come undone, completely lose it, and I will be back to when I used to feel so powerless & broken.
If I forgive them, they will come back to ruin me, and I can't let that happen.
That's some heavy stuff! When I got really clear on why I was afraid of forgiveness, I was able to work through this. And this is why people need to do this work with someone else, a coach, mentor, healer, therapist...someone who can call you out on your bullshit, hold you accountable to the work you committed, and help you see your truth and UNtruth of your story.
These are some things that worked for me:
- Redefining what "forgiveness" meant to me: instead of saying forgiveness means a blank slate and ground zero, I considered a new definition of forgiveness to be FREEDOM from this terrible knotted feelings and fears I had been living with for years.
- Learning more about and practicing boundaries in my personal life, business, and relationships - so I no longer felt powerless and helpless if I ever decided to reconnect with those I was trying to forgive. Realizing it was in my full control to allow their access or influence to my life and emotion was...EMPOWERING.
- Working on HEALING my inner-child and inner teenager self so I no longer felt paralyzed with fear or anger from those parts of younger me that experienced the past pains.
- Using my adult LOGICAL MIND to see my past with less emotions - for example, when I was able to see my mother of my past as someone who was younger than me, with terrible self-esteem and insecurity, stuck in an unhappy and insecure marriage with a man with a drinking problem, trying to pretend and navigate through her life as if nothing was wrong. I considered, "could I (the adult, professional, compassionate coach Seo) possibly have a bit of compassion and patience toward this incredibly unhappy, screwed-up young woman trying to do life as best as she could, even though she is totally fucking it up?"
It took a while to get to a point where I could say I have forgiven my past, but I have. And I must admit, FORGIVENESS is really a magic F word. When we are able to free ourselves from all the pain, emotions, fears, and resistance related to letting go of our past pain, it's incredible how much SPACE it creates for us to invite something that is more joyful and loving toward our soul.
Do you have someone or something to forgive? How do you feel about forgiveness? What has been your journey so far?
Here's how to work on forgiveness to create the mindset and energetic shift you desire...
Sharing a practice from my 21-day Mindset Makeover program.
we start a new one - money edition in December - join us.
The snake was at least 1000 years old. Over the course of its long life, it had grown rather large, gargantuan really. There wasn’t anything outwardly menacing about it...it was the type of animal that engaged in defense rather than offense. Slithering down the gnarly hill, making its way toward the river at the bottom, it struggled to navigate the trail, the gigantic snake dwarfing the path with its impressive bulk. As the path grew steeper, it became even more constricted, precluding the snake from advancing. The sharp edges of the rough terrain scraped away at the reptile’s scales as it tried in vain to move forward. The snake’s task appeared insurmountable. At the peak of despair, the snake suddenly became airborne, spreading wings it never knew it had. Freeing itself from the limitations of the narrow path, the snake transformed into a dragon, lowering itself onto the water below with a sprightly grace, fire flowing from its nostrils.
Such was the vision my father had in a dream, shortly after my mother became pregnant with me. Joyous and excited, my father saw this vision as an omen of the warrior his child would surely grow into one day. My father never missed an opportunity to regale everyone with this story, an enchanted crowd eagerly congratulating him in earnest for the up and coming hero he’d undoubtedly bred.
The first time I was deemed a disappointment was on the day I was born. I was a healthy baby, and there was nothing remarkable about the way I came into this world. My crime was that I was born a girl, so I couldn’t possibly become the warrior my father had envisioned. The common theme of my early life was that if only I’d been a boy, I would truly be of value. My natural inclination to walk on the edge and push against limitations was a quality so sought after in a boy, and yet so frowned upon in a girl. The possibility that I could grow up to be a hero as a girl was out of the question, mainly because nobody ever bothered to ask the question.
My childhood was spent under the barren wings of my narcissistic, abusive parents, in a dysfunctional home that was all about image and perception. On the outside, we appeared to be the perfect family, but our reality was so different. The love I received was conditional upon my getting good grades, obeying the rules, and being popular among the other children. I learned early on that there was a reward for following this expected path, and there was a punishment for spreading my wings and flying wherever my spirit took me.
I moved to the United States from Korea as a teenager. Eager to please, I did all the right things--I went to college, met a Korean guy and got married. I landed a great job that came with a six-figure salary, and I played by the rules. I should have been happy, but I was miserable--miserable because my husband couldn’t tolerate a wife with vivid dreams of her own that did not start and end with cooking and cleaning. I wanted to fly, but my husband kept clipping my wings. Meanwhile, the corporate environment that padded my bank account became toxic as I was openly told I would never succeed unless I toned down my fiery personality and conformed.
I thought I’d grown accustomed to living in a gilded cage with my wings clipped. But the dragon within me had never been slayed, despite the best efforts of my parents, husband, and various employers. I walked away from my stifling marriage, along with the seemingly perfect job with no plans and nothing lined up, just the relentless flame burning within me.
In Korean folklore, there are snakes that live for thousands of years, only to become dragons once they’ve truly earned their wings. Shaking off the mediocrity of an ordinary reptile that lives underground, slithering its way around, they transform into invincible creatures, the stuff of legends. In the West, on the other hand, the most invincible creatures are the warriors who slay dragons to save helpless princesses.
I knew that the role of the helpless princess was not for me. I wanted to be a warrior, but not the slaying kind. I was born to become that dragon, unclip my wings, and fly my own way, even if it fell outside of the rules society created to keep me in line. My path wasn’t easy, and it certainly wasn’t straightforward. It mostly consisted of attempts to follow a constricted trail that continually left me feeling trapped. My breakthrough came when I took a leap of faith, spread my wings, liberated the fire within me, and followed my passion. I found my purpose, met and married the true love of my life and permanently shed the shackles that had kept me trapped for so long.
My winding journey has led me to create a tribe, a sisterhood of sorts, where I’ve found my soul mission in helping women ignite the dragon within. Much to my father’s chagrin, I did become the warrior he foresaw, just not in the way he anticipated. I come from a culture that says that women can’t be warriors, but I’ve already disproved that stereotype. I’m here to unleash the fiery dragon within you, if you’re willing to unclip your wings. Are you ready to soar?
When the subject of money comes up in your life, does it make you uncomfortable? Do you feel uneasy, or on edge about it?
A lot of people struggle when it comes to money, and I think this is such a natural thing. Money is often the most common reason why families experience tension or individuals experience stress. Personally I have so many childhood memories and past experiences that still bring uncomfortable feelings and emotions related to money.
When we are entrepreneurs, these insecurities and other mindset blocks around money are even more highlighted, because we are often solely responsible for creating the income and revenue to sustain our life and business.
Have you ever thought to yourself “why isn’t this working, why is it every time I work my ass off I have nothing to show for it?”
Have you often thought you weren’t good enough to have prosperity in your life? Or if you did have money it was gone in an instant? These are common problems that we all face from time-to-time. It stems from our subconscious mind and usually originates from childhood. Our limiting beliefs and self-sabotaging habits around money can feel impossible to correct.
Changing your mindset can feel like a daunting task but over time you can train your brain to think differently with consistent practice and the right tools.
When we don’t have the right mindset, it manifests in different ways and even if you have all of your other ducks in a row, if you don’t truly believe, or have a “lack” mindset for whatever reason, things generally tend to fail. This may happen over and over again. This can lead to stress, failure in your business and even health issues.
I too used to have the problem of self-sabotage when it came to my money mindset. I would be doing really well, showing up consistently in my business and gaining new clients. Then I would self-sabotage myself by making careless large investments that were supposed to help my business which turned out to be rushed, ineffective decisions, or would stop whatever consistent business action I was taking for no reason, or heavily discount my rate to clients even when no one requested it.
It just got old. I was tired of being stuck at $5K months...I wanted to reach that $10K per month mark in my business and I kept sabotaging myself whenever I got close! So finally, I got really serious and took my business coach’s advice and fully committed to my daily intentional mindset practice. And you know what? That shit worked. In as little as 4 short months:
This experience taught me that changing our money mindset is possible, and it’s not too difficult. All it took was incorporating a few very simple practices that felt good to me. BUT the hard part was ACTUALLY DOING THEM CONSISTENTLY.
I created a 21-Day Mindset Makeover program to help you learn how to do these mindset practices, and support you to stay accountable and consistent for 21 straight days. Together we can work on taking control of our limiting, sabotaging beliefs and kick those thoughts to the curb. With my “21 Day Mindset Makeover-Money Edition” we’ll work through those blocks and create a new way of thinking, here’s how.
Imagine working on your mindset everyday while learning and practicing on:
Through daily videos with simple, easy to follow exercises you can complete in 5-20 minutes a day, we will create healthy relationship with money, and set foundations to flourish in your business and in life!
If you feel stuck and like you’re not in the driver’s seat, have fears that constantly rear their ugly heads and sabotage your progress, or feel that other people have it better, than sister, we need to change your mindset. There is a total rock star inside each one of us, and you know deep down inside that you have so much to offer and deserve to charge your worth.
For more information about how my program can help you, please check out 21daymindset.com.
“It takes 21-days to create a habit, so let’s create this habit and make magic happen!”
When faced with a challenge, an unexpected circumstance, or even a new opportunity, do you consider yourself a “glass half-full” or a “glass half-empty” kind of person? If you’re like me, you probably have experience with both outlooks, sometimes seeing life as half-full and other times feeling a little half-empty. That half-empty feeling can be hard to shake, but with a little work you can nurture that glass half-full kind of outlook, no matter what life, love, or business throws at you.
What being a “glass half-full” or a “glass half-empty” person really comes down to is mindset—and whether or not you approach the world with a poverty mindset or a prosperity mindset. You might have heard these terms before, but if not, let’s take a moment to break them down.
A poverty mindset can start out as a “lack mindset” or “scarcity mindset” — the fear that there isn’t enough; there aren’t enough resources to go around; things like success, money, and happiness are finite; and that somebody else’s gain is your loss. When you get too bogged down by lack mindset, or when you refuse to work on altering that mindset, the result is a poverty mindset—fueled by a “poor me” attitude and debilitated by the fear that there isn’t enough for you and there never will be. In fact, a poverty mindset can become so deeply rooted that it becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy.
A prosperity mindset, on the other hand, is all about creating and nourishing abundance. If you approach the world with a prosperity mindset, you realize there are enough resources to go around, the success of others doesn’t lead to your failure, that abundance will come your way, and you’ll be deserving of it (and able to manage it) when it comes.
The key is to transform a lack mindset, or a poverty mindset, into a prosperity mindset. But how do we do that?
The first step is to clearly identify whether you’re working from a poverty mindset or a prosperity mindset.
Here are some ways to recognize when you might be feeding a poverty mindset:
Consider these tips for breaking free from a poverty mindset:
Complete the following sentences:
i.Money is ________________________________________
ii.Money means ____________________________________
iii.In my life, money represents ________________________
So now, consider your mindset around money. How do you respond to words like wealth, poverty, abundance, and prosperity? Do you have any mindset blocks? Do you recognize any of the typical characteristics of poverty mindset in yourself? If so, are you doing anything to shift your energy to a healthier mindset? Have you invested enough time in a gratitude practice, mediation, or other mindfulness exercise to help you tune into your energy and avoid making fear-based decisions?
We all struggle at one point or another with lack, scarcity, and poverty mindset. Sometimes it’s easy to believe that there is finite amount of everything, that things will run out, or there is just not enough to go around. But when we shift our energy from a poverty mindset to one of prosperity, believing that the universe is abundant and there is always enough, that's when we start manifesting the wealth and success we desire.
To learn more about poverty vs. prosperity mindsets and how to develop a mindset that works for you, check out the Facebook Live video that accompanies this blog post, visit my Alpha Female Sisterhood Facebook page, or sign up to receive updates about my 21 Day Mindset Makeover "Money Edition" program , where we discuss all of this and more! "This program, being the "Money Edition" - focused all around shifting the energy and mindset around our conscious and subconscious money beliefs so we can create the abundance and wealth we desire." More info at 21daymindset.com
As a life and business coach, I have the opportunity to meet and work with tons of amazing women. You know who you are: alpha female sisters with tons of talent, power, and passion for what you do. You’re qualified, you’re creative, you’re driven, you’ve got great energy, and you don’t let anything stand in your way.
Well… anything except for yourself.
One thing I’ve noticed both in my own life and throughout my work as a coach is that sometimes, the one thing standing in between us and our dreams, is ourselves. No matter how badass a boss-lady we might be, when it comes to playing big, we always end up playing small.
Maybe, for you, playing it small means using words like “practical”, “realistic”, “responsible”, and “good” — words that might sound positive, but ones that women often use to keep ourselves small; to enable ourselves to continue to play small. To stay stuck in a job, a relationship, a health or lifestyle situation that isn’t serving us.
Maybe, playing it small comes from a fear-based mindset: one that says we’re not good enough, that there’s always someone who can do our job better, that we’re charging too much for the work that we do. Maybe that mindset tells you that asking for something — more clients, increased pay, that promotion, a new position entirely — isn’t worth the risk of rejection.
Maybe, in your experience, playing it small grows from a lack mindset. You’ve learned to believe that there isn’t enough to go around — enough money, enough resources, enough clients, enough opportunities — so you constantly have to be on guard for competition; hording the success you do have while refusing to risk losing it on a bigger venture.
Maybe you play it small out of fear of success. You’ve bought into the idea of “no pain, no gain.” Nothing good comes easy — and your dream is so big, achieving it must be impossibly hard, right? Maybe you believe that in order to be successful you have to sacrifice a lot, and you have to do it all alone. It’s you against the world. If you’re too successful, you won’t be able to handle it. Your family will suffer, your marriage will deteriorate, you won’t be able to handle the stress, and then you’ll lose everything.
Maybe you’re comfortable just coasting. If you’re already a high-performing woman, maybe you think you’re playing it “big enough”. For you, playing small is still pretty powerful. So why not just coast along, staying under the radar and avoiding too great a risk? It’s so tempting — and safe — to stay in one stagnant (but yeah, mediocre) spot.
Why do we do this to ourselves?
Ask yourself: when you think about playing big, what fears or mental blocks come to mind? What resistance do you notice that you might have to work though?
I’ve shared my story before: since childhood, I learned a certain set of rules about how people — and women in particular — should behave in the world. It was necessary to always behave well, get straight As, graduate with honors, get a good job, have a lot of friends, get promoted, keep working hard to show my worth, get married, have a family, have stability, feed my retirement account, retire at 60, have grandchildren. There was a clear set of rules for how to live a successful life, and these rules were the only rules.
You’ve probably heard a lot of these rules in your own work, relationships, and life. They’re rules like: be humble. Be a team player. Don’t shine your light. Dream, but not too big — only dream the dreams you can afford to dream. Don’t be disagreeable. Communicate passively, or people won’t like you. Don’t speak too loudly. Stay small and feminine, or you’ll become abrasive to others. Dress neatly and attractively. Go above and beyond what everyone else is doing — but don’t take too much credit. Constantly prove your worth. Remember that your health and personal life come after your professional life. Distance yourself from loud or “trouble-making” women — opinionated women, women who other people think are difficult, alpha women, challengers of the status quo.
I followed these rules for 30-some years. And guess what? They worked: I was successful in the corporate world, I got promoted, people liked me. And at the end of the day I was miserable. When I look back at that time, I feel like I followed those rules because those were the rules, but I never thought to question them. Who wrote those rules? Whose rules are those? Whose success are those rules designed to support? All those rules do is keep us small and rob us of our joy. Those rules prevent us from manifesting our dreams and building the lives that we want.
What if we wrote our own rules? What would that look like?
The truth is, there’s only one person who has the right to write the rules you follow as you live your life and run your business, and that person is you. The rules you follow should be your own rules, so you can live and work in a way that is authentic and feels good to you. This is the only way you’re going to be able to create the life you desire.
From now on, I’m writing my own rules.
Here are some of the rules I follow now:
If you were to write your own rules, what would you write? Would you know how to start? Would you recognize rules that feel authentic to you? Do you know your core values? Do you feel connected to your intuition? Are you in tune with yourself enough to write — and then follow — your own rules?
-Am I selling myself short?
-Am I staying within my comfort zone?
-What if I took this opportunity?
-What if I went after that dream?
-But what if I’m not rejected?
-What if it is a huge success?
-What if, instead of playing small, I jumped in with both feet and played it big?
You have the choice to stay where you are or you have the choice to step outside of your comfort zone, tune in to your deepest desires, break through your deepest fears, and manifest the life you really dream of.
What if we all collectively decided to stop playing small? What if we decided to all start playing bigger? What if each one of us decided to set the intention to write our own rules? How much could we do to change this world? What kind of positive impact will we make when we start showing up and playing big?
Don’t you want to be a part of that?
To stop playing it small as start playing it big, check out the Facebook Live video that accompanies this blog post, connect with other like-minded women in my Alpha Female Sisterhood Facebook page, or sign up to receive updates about my 21 Day Mindset Makeover program. It could be the first step in playing life even bigger than you’ve been dreaming.
Guest post by Emily Miller.
Traveling to Costa Rica had long been on my bucket list. The rainforests. The beaches. The waterfalls. The howler monkeys munching mango's overhead. So when I learned that Seo Kelleher and Rose Maghdouri were hosting a week-long, women’s-only Strength and Relaxation Retreat on the sandy beaches of Playa Grande, Costa Rica, it didn’t take me long to pack my bags.
Traveling is familiar to me. I’ve filled a passport, and then some. But traveling without a rigid agenda — now that was totally foreign. As much as I love exploring in the world, challenging my language skills, sense of direction, and taste buds, traveling is typically a bit of a race for me: a race to see the most, do the most, pack in as many sights and sounds and smells as I can before I return home; often wearing myself ragged and moving at such a frenetic pace that I don’t always remember what exactly it is I’ve seen and done and eaten. My memories of Peru become muddled with my memories of Ecuador. The photograph I think is my sister and I on the cliffs of San Cristóbal Island was actually taken in Paracas. I’ve spent plane rides looking forward to my favorite macaroon shop in Paris, only to discover upon arrival the cosmopolitan café I’m thinking of was actually in Fes — a whopping 1500 miles away.
This was not so in Costa Rica.
In Costa Rica, there’s a saying: “la pura vida.” Simply translated, it means “the simple life” or “the pure life.” But for those who live there, la pura vida is more than just a saying — it is a way of life. It’s all about taking things slow, going with the flow, letting the energy of the day move you in ways you might not have anticipated. It’s about savoring every moment. It’s about being in the present moment — whether that moment is filled with high energy and activity, or is a space for stillness. More often than not, as I discovered, the present moment was one of stillness.
It took me a little while to get used to la pura vida.
Not having a to-do list a mile long was a new feeling for me. Not having a packed travel itinerary, scheduled down to the minute, was new for me. Going to sleep without the stress of knowing my buzzing alarm was just four, or five, or six hours away was new for me. Walking slowly enough to notice, say, the blue crab tucked away in the rocks at my feet, was new for me. Stopping in the middle of my day just to take fifteen or twenty minutes to watch the family of howler monkeys playing in the treetops above, was new for me.
And guess what? I remember every single meal I ate in Costa Rica. I remember savoring the plates of fresh fruit, rice and beans, crispy fish tacos. I remember the names of everyone on the retreat with me (I’m usually terrible with names.) I remember conversations — both those had in passing, and ones of greater significance. I remember where every single photograph was taken. I took late-night swims without worrying about being tired in the morning. I actually sat down to eat breakfast. Every. Single. Morning. I took walks. Slow walks. Mindful walks. I meditated — I actually meditated, by myself, without feeling guilty about the 100 other things I “should” have been doing. I practiced yoga. I laughed my butt off during water aerobics. I got to connect with strong, empowered, beautiful, like-minded women who were as unfamiliar with la pura vida as I was, but who were embracing it.
I took the time to invest in myself and my well-being, and my right to take it easy every once in a while. I got to connect more deeply with my sister, who traveled on the retreat with me. I made new friends and new professional connections. I discovered the world’s greatest sunburn treatment. I took one whole nap. I left my phone off for entire days. I discovered something new about a relationship I was in back home. I discovered a few new things about myself too.
Are you ready to discover la pura vida for yourself? If so, the ladies who introduced me to the pure life are headed back to Costa Rica in February! You don’t want to miss it, believe me.
Meet Seo Kelleher, an intuitive coach for life and business, committed to empowering women. "I am passionate about helping women find the courage to transform their lives by embracing their vulnerability and taking the responsibility."